Psalm 139

So, I read my devotions a few days ago and it was based off of Psalm 139. I've been wanting to write a blog about it, but have kept putting it off until today. I keep thinking about this chapter in the Bible, so I figured I should probably write about it because I love this chapter =) If you're not familiar with this chapter, you should check it out! I'm just going to write down the verses that really stick out to me:

• "O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away." 139:1-2
• "You know what I'm going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me." 139:4-5
• "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand." 139:6
• "I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night, but even in darkness, I cannot hide from You." 139:11-12
• "You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are Your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, You are still with me" 139:16-18
• "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." 139:23-24

To some, it might freak them out a little bit that there is someone who knows EVERYTHING about you. To me, it's a relief! I spend my days feeling like I have to put on a happy face all the time. I know this isn't true considering I have wonderful family and friends who will help me through anything, but for some reason, I still feel the need to "act" happy and okay with everything all the time. I know this is something I struggle with; I've known for years now. I've read this chapter plenty of times, but the other day, it just really hit home for me. God, our Heavenly Father, Lord of all creation, knows me so well that I cannot hide anything from Him! Even if I tried to pray to Him and tell Him about my day and wanted to make it sound fine, He knows what's really going on in my head. In my devotion the other day, I really liked this part:

"Do not close off any part of yourself from Me. I know you inside and out, so do not try to present a "cleaned-up" self to Me. Wounds that you shut away from the Light of My Love will fester and become wormy. Secret sins that you "hide" from Me can split off and develop lives of their own, controlling you without your realizing it."

God didn't send His Son to die on the cross for the people who have it all figured out; He sent Jesus for the weak, the tired, the helpless, the broken. To me, that is true comfort. Even when I feel like I don't even know what's going on in my life and I'm confused beyond belief, God understands that. I don't have to try and explain my confusion to Him because He knows! Sometimes it's hard telling friends and family everything that's going on inside your head because it may seem crazy and overwhelming to them, so we may all tend to hold those bits and pieces inside. But God wants to hear every single one of those crazy, ridiculous, confusing thoughts that you have! Let Him comfort you. Let Him inside your heart. Let Him in on all your feelings no matter what they are. 

God, I pray that we can all come to You with open hearts willing to rest in Your peace and presence. I pray that we will no longer be stubborn and hold ourselves back from You because You love us with such an agape love that nothing can change that. We are Your children and You are our everlasting Father. Thank You for Your grace and mercy. Amen...