Year of Lasts

I can't believe it's finally here. Tomorrow I will be moving in for the last time to Central. I never thought this day would come...especially this soon! Central has been my second home for only a short 3 years, but it feels like I've been there for so much longer. I love the atmosphere, the people, the professors, the community...everything about it. Ever since I was 8, I had wanted to follow my big sister's footsteps and go to the "faraway" land of Central College.

Me at Central when I was younger =)

I went into my freshman and sophomore year having no clue what I wanted to do with my life, but I knew eventually God would lead me down the path He wanted me to go. I finally decided I wanted to be a counselor in a school setting K-12. Central has not only prepared for me to be a counselor, but has allowed me to have so many more adventures:



 I've traveled to Reynosa, Mexico, New Orleans, New York, and Haiti twice.

Reynosa, Mexico

New Orleans

New York

Haiti #1

Haiti #2

I've played sardines in random academic buildings. I've played ultimate frisbee at night with glow necklaces. I've went sledding down hills on trays and in laundry baskets.

I've ran down the hallway sitting on whoopie-cushions with my roommate of almost 4 years. I've set off 2 fire alarms.

I've had countless nights of worshiping God that have brought me to tears. I've made amazing friends who I can truly be my goofy, weird self around. I've been thrown in a nasty pond twice...not even on my birthday!

I've played follow-the-leader around Pella at 20 years of age =) I've danced in the rain. I've had dance parties in the triple during finals week and sang karaoke in the chapel just to relieve stress. I learned how to play steel drums and love every concert we perform. I've done so many things that I never imagined I would do.

I'm excited to start a brand new year once again. I feel like every year is a fresh start to do everything you said you would do the year before, but failed to do. I'm excited to meet the freshman, do more crazy random stuff, have mario kart parties, and grow deeper in love with Jesus. In a short 9 months, I will no longer be a student at Central College, but I will always be "Dutch" at heart =)

Forever Patient

Well it's been awhile since I've posted anything, so I felt the need to let you all know how things are going. So far, it's been a summer filled with up's and down's. It's always hard coming back home and getting used to a completely different schedule for awhile. It was definitely needed, but it just has taken some getting used to. Many of you know that this past year has been harder than most, especially with missing my dad, and the struggles have continued into the summer. Towards the end of the school year, I had realized that I no longer needed to try to hard to hide my tears and always act like everything's okay, so all my emotions I should've had 3.5 years ago are coming now instead. It's definitely been challenging for me because I used to not be an emotional person at all before college...now I have to get used to being that stereotypical emotional girl! It's really difficult! All of these emotions have led to my relationship with God being a crazy rollercoaster. I haven't felt as close to Him as I'm used to up until a couple days ago, which had really left me frustrated. I have never doubted that God loves and cares for me and I will always believe in Him...it wasn't that, but rather a frustration that came from not knowing how to create that passion in my heart for Him again.

In the past few days, I have been praying more often that God would help me to find that passion for Him once again because I really miss that a lot and have felt like I'm going through the motions with my faith. I want to be more intentional with my conversations with people and mention God more often because that's the way it should be! I always forget that I'm on this earth to spread God's word, not for my own well-being. It's so hard to remember for me. A couple nights ago, when I was having a bad night, Will had told me to go and have a heart-to-heart with God under the stars because I love stars a lot =) I decided that was a great idea and God gave me lightning instead of stars, which was just as awesome. At first, I was trying to come up with what I should pray for and what I should talk about to Him, but then I realized that I don't always have to fill my time with God with words. I can listen, too, and cry and just enjoy being in the beautiful nature He created for us. After awhile, I felt much better and very refreshed.

That's the one crazy thing that I love about God among many things...God is so incredibly patient with us and is always waiting. This may sound strange, but we have a devotional in our bathroom called "God's Calling" and for awhile, I would stare at the picture everyday on the front...it was of God's hands reaching towards us. Then after visiting the cemetery the other day, the same type of picture was on my Dad's stone. God's hand reaching down to us. God never leaves us...we may feel like He's not with us sometimes and we may feel alone, but really, He's just waiting with open arms for us to come running back to Him, back to our first love. For me, I know it will take time, but I know that God will always be there and I don't need to feel alone. God is forever patient...

Back to Haiti =)

On March 10, 2012, I left for my second adventure of a lifetime. I got the privilege of going back to Haiti!! I felt like God was calling me to go ever since I saw it posted on facebook from Campus Ministries. I never thought I would be going back so soon, but God had a different plan. I emailed Sarah to get more information about the trip and after realizing I needed the money in by less than a month, my hope of going back dropped. I prayed that if I was meant to go, God would find the resources for me to go. After forgetting about it for a couple weeks, I saw yet another post on Facebook, so this time I decided to message Andrea and see if there was any way I could raise the money after the due date. After no response for awhile, I, again, gave up hope. Little did I know, God would provide the money. I was able to pay the money back as I raised it to Campus Ministries, which was a miracle. When I found out I could do that, I actually cried and screamed in excitement because God actually answered my prayer and found a way for me to go back to Haiti. I was so excited!! With the amazing support of my community, I was able to raise $1,800 ($300 over the amount I needed) in about 2-3 weeks! Yet another sign I was supposed to go.

I knew this trip was going to be different from the very first meeting I went to. Instead of all college students going like the last time, we had a mixture of adults, college students, high school students, and a middle schooler. I only knew one person going into it, but I knew God wanted me to go there for a reason, so I put my trust in His hands.

It was finally time to leave for Haiti and I was more than ready to get far away from Pella and go to Haiti. I got to know my group really well, especially the girls and we definitely had some good laughs in our little Florida hotel room =) Once we got to Haiti, the familiar craziness of the airport flooded our senses. This time, I wasn't freaked out, but yet very calm and excited to get to Jean Jean and Kristie's house! After driving 3.5 hours with beautiful mountainous scenery, we got to their house! There was an Orange City team there just like last time and I got to see Sean G. who I saw the last time I was in Haiti! Small world I would say! The first day was very lazy because we were all so exhausted! Most of us took a nap for a couple hours and then some of us played volleyball, which was fun.

The second day, we went to the market in Boack (sp?) and tried buying certain items. It's so difficult since we don't speak Creole! I attempted at bartering and it didn't really work. The one thing that I remember from the market is seeing these little goats hanging upside down from a motorcycle driving away! For some reason, it makes me laugh which probably is bad =) Also, someone tried to sell me a live chicken haha. We also had some delicious bread from a bakery...I love that bread so much! We also had goat and my favorite, fried plantains. I could eat those everyday and be satisfied. Then we did a flower craft with the kids at the school and then I played with them afterwards. They're so adorable. They were definitely my favorite part of the trip.

I won't explain every single day, but one cool thing I got to do was tell part of my testimony to the youth group. I did this last time at the early morning service and it was so hard for me that I didn't think I would do it again, but I felt that I needed to share it with them. I didn't go into full detail of my entire testimony, but told about my Dad passing away and how it has made me a stronger person because of it. It was really neat after because a few other Haitians shared their testimonies and one guy didn't even know who his parents were and another guy lost his mom (I think) in the earthquake. I wasn't the only one who had lost a parent. Sometimes at college, I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have one of their parents anymore, so it was nice to know I could relate to someone else in that way, especially because we were from different countries.

I learned a lot about myself this trip, I feel. I've always known that I am an introvert, but God showed me that it was okay to be an introvert sometimes. It allowed me to take everything in and really absorb the Haitian culture. I saw how beautiful the Haitians were inside and out. It still amazes me the second time that they are so joyful. They dance and raise their hands during worship all the time and I LOVE it. They're so thankful for what they do have and I feel like Americans are never satisfied with anything that they have. We always want more. It was a good reminder for me to think about what my wants and needs are. I also learned to be patient on this trip, too. Like I mentioned before, it was a lot different from the first trip I went on, so I had to be patient and realize that God wanted to teach me different things this time.

One really cool thing in Haiti was when I realized that I am actually able to apply my knowledge that I've learned from my classes at Central to Haiti! Imagine that...I'm actually learning something in school haha =) I've taken several sociology classes that talk about people in general, but right now I'm taking intercultural communications and I applied a lot of what I was learning in that class to my experience! That might sound very nerdy, but I thought it was awesome! I found myself being much more culturally aware of the differences and more appreciative of them, too. It was awesome to do that!

Overall, my trip to Haiti was both frustrating at times and absolutely amazing during other times. The country is so beautiful and God amazed me over and over. It always reminds me that I need to be thankful for what I do have and that I am incredibly blessed. It was really hard coming back for me. I wanted to, but once I got here, I kinda started freaking out a little. I was literally shaking an hour after I got back when I was eating at the market. It's just so different here and I didn't know how to deal with that. I finally got back to normal after a couple days, but those first days were a daze for me. It's weird how I can feel like that after only being gone for one week. I hope to go back again one day, so I can learn even more about myself and so I can build deeper relationships with the people there. For now, orevwa =)

You're Beautiful

I was reading my Bible today and came across these two verses that really stuck out to me:

"What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, "Stop, you're doing it wrong!" Does the pot exclaim, "How clumsy can you be?" How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father, "Why was I born?" or if it said to its mother, "Why did you make me this way?""~Isaiah 45:9-10

As a woman, society is constantly telling us to look and act a certain way or we will not be liked/accepted by others. I struggled just as much as any other girl when I was in middle school and high school with my appearance. I was the lanky, awkward, tall girl...or so I thought in my mind. Finally, in college, I have come to accept the fact that I am who I am, but a lot of women still struggle. It hurts me to see my friends look down on themselves when I see them as beautiful young women. This doesn't even have to only apply to women, either. I know a lot of guys that struggle with the stereotypical strong man, as well. When I read this verse, it really struck me. God created each of us unique...He didn't want us to be like anyone else.

When we complain about who we are, our personalities, our looks, that is like telling God we are not happy with His creation. Of course that is not our intent, but everyone does it, including myself. Sometimes I wish I was better at having conversations with people or that I wasn't so tall so jeans would fit easier...but God did not make me that way. I have been learning, this semester especially, that I love listening to people, so maybe that's why God made me more of an introvert sometimes. He made me tall just because He could =)

Like all my other blogs, my thoughts seem all over the place, but I really thought this verse could relate to a lot of people because everyone struggles with it. I guess, as an application, try and look at yourself as God's beautiful son or daughter. Once you see yourself through His eyes, your view/perception of yourself will slowly begin to change. When you don't feel good about your looks or personality, that is not God giving you those thoughts....it is Satan and only Satan. God doesn't make mistakes. He only creates beautiful things. To me, when I look in the mirror and like what I see....that's like slapping Satan in the face. I like that image. It makes me smile =) So metaphorically, try and "slap Satan" in the face more often! You are all so incredibly beautiful and wonderful and made in God's own image. Think about that one =)

Joy and Happiness

Well, I'm sitting in my chair all comfy and cozy, so I figured I might as well write another blog =) Good enough excuse, I think. I was reading my Bible a little bit ago and came across a couple of my highlighted verses:

"Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning."~Psalm 30:5


"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy."~Psalm 30:11


The past year, the theme of having joy in struggles has popped up a lot. My friend, Kara, and I have talked about this a lot because it's been very prevalent in both of our lives. As I'm writing this, I'm not really sure where the blog will take me, but I have always found this topic very interesting.

I used to think that joy and happiness were the same thing. Just like being angry or mad...the exact same. Until last year, I didn't realize they are actually completely different. I just did a quick Google search to see if I could come up with some good definitions. Happiness is dependent on outward circumstances, while joy is internal and constant. I definitely think this is true! Happiness can come from having a lot of "things" and having every situation go your way. Joy, to me, is based on trials and struggles. I find joy in my relationship with God because I know He has everything already planned out for me and knows what's best. I have had several trials in the past few years, but also the greatest joy.

It's hard to explain the feeling of joy. It's honestly like a peaceful quietness that washes over me. For example, one day in the summer, I all the sudden started bawling uncontrollably, so I decided to go to the place I feel God the most: outside. I walked all the way out to the airplane circle my dad made and just sat on the grass. I closed my eyes and felt the sun on my face. Right there, in the middle of my uncontrollable tears, I felt joy. Like I said, it's hard to explain the feeling, but right there, I knew God was with me. Even though I wanted to cry for hours upon hours, God was there to wipe my tears:

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book."~Psalm 56:8


To me, joy does not mean feeling all giddy and wonderful all the time. It's okay to feel crappy sometimes and tell people that, too. I have learned that over the years and am continuing to learn that. You don't have to appear happy all the time, but we are to have joy. Like I said, I'm not really sure if this blog will connect with anyone, but if it connects with at least one person, I will be "happy" =)

Bringing in the New Year

It's 2012. Weird. I was laying in bed last night thinking about this. I feel so old! I remember the 90's when I was in elementary school listening to Backstreet Boys and N'Sync; I remember when 2000 finally came and we all thought the world was coming to an end; I remember graduating high school thinking my life would not drastically change; now I'm a junior in college...in 2012. It's crazy how fast time passes!

In church today, Keith Korver was talking about New Years' Resolutions. After showing us really funny ones, he went into the main point of his sermon. We should not have expectations, but rather wait in expectancy. You might have to read that a couple times in order to get the full point of it. It's kind of hard to wrap your mind around. When we expect our life to be a certain way and it doesn't work out, that usually leads to us being angry. He said that anger is the gap between what we expect and reality. So true! I have always had this "perfect" idea of how my life was going to plan out. I would grow up with my perfect family of 7, magically run into the love of my life the first day of college, get married with my Dad walking me down the aisle, have a few kids, be a stay-at-home-mom, and live happily ever after.

Well the years went on and my family went from having 7 people to having 6, I did not meet the love of my life the first day of college, my Dad won't get to walk me down the aisle....to be continued. Now all of that may sound very depressing, but really, God's plan for my life so far has been way better than all of that fairy tale business I thought up in my head. Yes, I would have loved for my dad to still be here, but God had a different plan. And from that plan, I have grown 10 times closer to God than I ever would have if that wouldn't have happened. No, I didn't meet the love of my life the first day of college, but the relationships I have had have taught me so much about how to be the best significant other I can possibly be. No, I don't get to have my dad walk me down the aisle, but instead, I get to have my amazing big brother who loves me more than anything do it instead =)

There is no need to expect anything because there is no way we can know what's going to happen in our lives. God is the only one who knows and He is so excited to reveal those plans to us day by day. So this year, instead of trying to plan my life out for myself, I am going to try more to trust in God's plan. This will be a never-ending journey for me, but God is patient and His mercy and grace is forgiving. I am looking forward to this year and seeing how God will work in miraculous ways. I am blessed in so many ways. It amazes me how good God is. Yes, sometimes it's hard to always feel connected to God, but like I said, He is patient and willing to wait. I am more than excited to finally get to see Him one day and live with Him in eternity.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen"