This past semester, I have been realizing how much I have been doubting God's plan and not relying on Him for my future. I want to make my own plans. I want to be accepted to UNI, find a cheap apartment I can somehow afford, and get a part-time job that I love. That's what I want. Unfortunately, that plan has neither been accepted nor denied yet. I am waiting day after day, hour after hour for this one measly letter or email to determine my future. How sad is that? It has been stressing me out to the point that I have not been my joyful, bubbly self like I used to be. That's when I realized that I have not been fully trusting God with everything. I have been putting my trust in UNI and in myself and other people. I know God has a plan for me and it's better than anything I could come up with on my own. I know this deep down. It's so hard to put my want's aside and focus on what He is doing in my life. If I get accepted, that's where I'm supposed to be after graduation. If I don't get accepted, He must have a different path for the time being. I have to be okay with that.
This past Monday at senior dinner, two things really stood out to me. First of all, Nick Rohner reminded us that everything will be okay. Joe has told me that everything will be okay. It sounds so simple, but it's so true. Everything will work out how God has planned for it to happen. Also, Sarah mentioned that we must not lose our passion in life after college. Right now, it's easy to be passionate about what we want to do in life, but it can be easy to just get a job just to have one and not really incorporate our passions into it. I don't want to lose my passion, so that was a good reminder.
God has really been speaking to me this week about plans and letting Him take over. Just in the past couple days, I have been seeing several verses and reading parts of books that lets me know that He is trying to teach me this lesson:
"If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding." Proverbs 15:32
"We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives. Commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:1-3
"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9
"Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful." Proverbs 16:20
"God has mapped out a lot of things in my life. I feel like there is a course He wants me to be on. But it's not a one-way relationship with God. It's something I have to put time into and it's something I have to work at, if I want to stay on the course that God has planned out. I have to remember that what He has planned is the right thing for me, no matter what I think. His plan is always better, His plan is always right." (I Am Second)
All of this has come to me in the past couple days. I love it when you know God is speaking to you through what you're reading or the songs you listen to. As usual, my blog is very random and disorganized, but hey, that's okay =) Lesson of the semester: trust God. Trust God always. He knows what He's doing.
