So...my freshman year of college is finally coming to a close. I mean, it's been great and I have learned a ton, but I am MORE than ready to get out of this place. I need summer, bad. I surprisingly haven't been stressing out about all the stuff I need to get done, but it does get annoying knowing that I do have a ton of stuff to do before I leave this place. I have been realizing more and more each day that my time spent here is NOT about my handy dandy to-do list...it's about the experience and the joy that I feel when I'm around the people I love. You may say that college is all about school since we're not paying bucketloads of money to have fun, but I say a lot of it is about the experience. I don't want to spend 4 years of my life freaking out about the next deadline. That'd be a waste of my life. I need happiness. I need those little things in my life to perk me back up again. That's why I have decided to be joyful during these last 11 days of college. God brought me here for a reason and reason was not to be stressed out and making sure I have everything checked off...he brought me here for a good education and most importantly, the people that are here. I'm going to bring up another quote from the book Crazy Love because it's so true about stress:
"Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, and our tight grip of control."
This is completely true! When I'm stressed, I become impatient with people and start lashing out, so this time, I am trying to be a happier, more joyful person and I thank God that He has given me joy this past week =) I definitely am not myself when I am stressed and I hate that! I know everything will get done eventually, so really...why worry about it? Worrying and complaining about everything just takes more time out of your schedule when you could be doing that thing. Plus it makes you all crazy and grumpy and who wants to be those things? Not me...which is why I'm trying my hardest just to enjoy being here. I honestly don't know how I am not stressing out right now...it's all God, I know that for a fact. I am just looking towards the prize, which is summer! No stress, hanging out with my friends every night, and relaxation. I can do this. I got it.
I also read one of my friend's blogs about people pleasing and I thought I should definitely write about this because it applies to my life a lot lately. I have had trouble balancing time between my home friends and my college friends a lot this semester. I have found myself trapped in the middle of a "friend-war" that I can't get myself out of. The only way I know how to get out of it is to just start over next semester. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I can't please everyone. I wish I could please everyone, but it's not going to happen. I have spent way too much of my life trying to make everyone else happy, that it's wearing me thin. I just want to not try so hard anymore. That's totally not in my nature though. I freak out when people are mad at me and I tend to hold grudges a lot. I have gotten better at the grudges thing, but I still freak out. So yes, I have come to the conclusion that I can't do it all...I'm not Superwoman. I'm not perfect...I will try my hardest, but that's all I can do. I am not writing this to bash anyone...I am writing this for me. I have come to these realizations. So to anyone that I have frustrated about this situation or made mad, I am more than sorry. I apologize, but this is me. I can't do everything right, but I promise to try my hardest. Just bare with me...please. I don't want to stress out over people-pleasing anymore. I really don't. I just want to be me. Thank you...I love you all. (and remember this is not to bash anyone!!!) I'm dead serious....like I just died right there. Wow, that was lame, but hey, that's ok ;)
Well those are my cool thoughts for the day =) Toodles all!
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